WARNING:Triggering Topics
This is where I talk about random things, including some trauma related stuff so just a lil beware!
[Yes I am receiving help]I go by any pronouns, living in the states, vegan, i'm 20 years of age, and I have seen the worst humanity has to offer :( I'm an artist, photographer, and try to advocate for total liberation of all living beings.
No one actually gives a shit. - 3/5/2024
In my years alive I have watched this species commit some of the most violent disgusting things imaginable. I became vegan in 2015 I think, after visiting an animal sanctuary and having the owner basically explain animal exploitation in more detail. All I needed were words to tell me what was happening was wrong. Years later, I wanted to do something to help, along with getting both sides of the argument for veganism. I went to a slaughterhouse. I watched literal babies being thrown around like garbage, screaming for their lives. Screaming. Then silence as the blood poured out onto the sidewalk. I was traumatized, but I went to another, and another. No one else was protesting these places of horrors. No one else actually cared enough to stop. I had to keep going to these places, because who else was going to give aide to sick dying babies in their final moments? Who is going to let them know they are loved, as they can feel whats coming? They were all so scared. I was just in high school. I remember people would always find a way to make a meat related joke the minute they found out I was vegan. Every time they did I would have what I called "diet-flashbacks" before I was diagnosed with PTSD. I began to loose function, realizing no one actually cares. Are you reading this? Are you vegan or at least trying to be? Do you know about the horrors of what we do to non-human animals? Most of you would probably say no to the vegan thing. Humans are too lazy to actually take a step outside their comfort zone and do the right thing. I would talk about this aloud, and I was shamed. To this day, grown adults will make these jokes to me. I still have the same reaction. I can't control it.
When I started working, I found out soon after I couldn't due to my disabilities. Unknowingly at the time, PTSD was one of them. One day while working at the doggy daycare, I had to mop up some pee. So as usual, I went to retrieve the mop and bucket. I froze looking at it. The mop bucket hadn't changed, but today I took extra note at how similar the color of the plastic bucket on wheels was to the crates carrying sick/injured/dead birds to the slaughterhouse. I was sure that if I moved that bucket, I was going to find a dead, rotting dog behind it.
After realizing I couldn't work, I tried being more active in online art communities. Within a few days of joining this one discord server full of furries and artists in a "safe space", someone had figured out I was vegan. Almost right after they "made a character" using a quick Picrew creator of a normal looking cow. They then proceeded to say "Its name is Steak! :3" and basically kept doing small things to pick at me until I had a breakdown. I've noticed this with a TON of these "safe spaces" that have 0 tolerance for things like sexism, homophobia, transphobia, racism, zionism, etc. Never do they give a shit about speciesism though. In fact, they mock it. And don't dare give me a "it's not the same" because it fucking is, and you've never been inside and watched hundreds of people die in front of your eyes. Fuck. I don't know how much longer I can live in this sick society.
My problem with people sexualizing cows. - 1/20/2024
As someone who is partially part of an online community of artists who express their art through non-human animals and human-like animals, I have the understanding that the sexualizing of these characters is purely fiction and common practice. I mean, I love drawing tits, but I can't draw humans, so it's the perfect mix (if that makes any sense) but when it comes to cow OCs/Fursonas, I have noticed that most tend to be overly-sexualized. I don't have any issue with sexualized characters at all, but I have noticed a pattern when it comes to cow characters. For one, I should get out of the way that most of you know I am an animal rights activist, one who has been to multiple real-life locations of animal abuse and exploitation. I've been to quite a few dairy farms, and they're all horrible horrible places. I don't wanna keep this too long, so in short, cows do not natually produce milk, so against their will, farmers basically rape these cows so they can get pregnant and start producing milk. It's the reason over many years of domestication that they have larger udders compared to other mammals. Why am I mentioning this? Because I've noticed the pattern that most cowsonas/OCs tend to over-sexualize the large udders of real beings who are in a lot of pain due to their over-sized body parts. Or when people just HAVE to make milk a part of that characters personality. I remember once a few years back I saw this AMAZING cow fursona, and guess what? No noticable udders, no milk-sexualization, they were just a normal cow OC. It made me so happy to see someone actually appreciate cows with their art instead of just sexualizing their stereotype/abuse. Don't get me wrong, I get it. I want big mommy milkers in my face too, but I have to draw a line when people want to pretend there is nothing wrong with sexualizing a group of individuals who have been oppressed sexually for thousands of years.
Stocking my beloved - 1/16/2024
It took me forever for some reason, but I FINALLY watched Panty & Stocking. I knew from the start that I would love it, aside the racist stuff ofc. I love Stocking and made a new hidden shrine if you click around the site ;P I want her boobs in my face
Why don't others have empathy? - 1/15/2024
I feel like most humans aren't as empathetic as we make ourselves out to be. If humans really all put effort into understanding each other, and other creatures like them, there wouldn't be so much hate. If humans actually cared about animals, for example, everyone would be vegan. Deep down though, no one actually gives a shit. I recently found out an old friend of mine had used me for money, someone who I used to talk to daily and thought they understood me. Maybe it was my fault trying to get back in contact after awhile? I'm thankful for all the friends I have who are loyal and truthful.
Hiiis - 1/14/2024
Testing out HTML is rlly fun, and I hope I can use this space to better talk about my thoughts n such :33